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Friday, March 11, 2011

Enter the Cracked out Void


Gaspar Noe is a righteously sick and twisted visionary. I just watched Enter the Void streaming on Netflix. I mean, good sweet goodness. This movie is 2 hours and 41 minutes of shear freedom of insanity. Irreversible, a previous film of Noe, included an uncut 9 minutes back alley rape sequence. Enter the Void surpassed this milestone by a long shot, including some of the most graphic violent and sexual content ever caught on film. Yes, it was the unrated director's cut, but that's all the more the full story that Noe needed to portray.

This film is so intensely colorful, so trippy and vivid, seemingly unspecific in trajectory and yet very orchestrated all at once. You really need to keep up with the action, the camerawork is very gyroscopic and unforgiving. The entire film is shot masterfully from the point of view of the protagonist, a twentysomething American drug dealer in Tokyo named Oscar. After his friend rats him out to the cops, he tries to flush drugs down the toilet in the bathroom while the police are banging down the door. He stupidly yells to them that he has a gun and will use it, and suddenly find himself shot through the chest, proceeding then to die on the floor...slowly.

Then the movie just goes. It's such a disconcerting POV to begin with, the camera literally jerking around and capturing the imagery as a human being would. We even get blackness that is the flashes of Oscar's blinks. As he lays dying on the bathroom floor, his vision gets blurrier and we hear his heart and breath shorten and become faint. He sees police looking at him and moving about, and it's so drawn out that it becomes painful to watch. Noe doesn't skirt the reality of trying to describe what we will never be told, because we'd be dead or dying. Humans always contemplate the 'what if's' and Noe does a scarily good job of capturing the 'answers' on film.

The film open with a fast paced flourish of the credits. Epileptics should not see this movie, as the director employed strobes and disco lights throughout its entirety, and the credits are set to raging club music and a plethora of excruciating fast moving lighting. This film is long, and its intended run-time was truncated by most American distributors. The scenes are so real and graphic, and Noe makes it worse by almost never cutting away. He makes your stomach churn by forcing you to watch.

Oscar floats above Tokyo as a spirit after he is shot, much like the teachings of the book he was reading before he died, The Tibetan Book of the Dead. But before he was shot, he took DMT, a super strong psychedelic drug (in a very visually stimulating sequence), so the audience isn't certain whether he is having some drug induced dream before death, or if this is what could happen after we die. All of this leads up to Oscar's spirit rising above his watching, reliving his past and present simultaneously, then trying to be reincarnated. The camera's visual effects are so stunningly original, and the camera goes places it has never gone before, for instance, into the vaginal canal while being penetrated during intercourse, after which Oscar's spirit is captured in the sperm of his friend having sex with his sister, so he is born to her and therefore stays with her forever as he promised. Yes. You see it all. Great CGI, just stunningly appallingly realistic and graphic, transcending pornography to truth in art form.

Paz de la Huerta plays Linda, Oscar's sister, who is infatuated with her brother. Paz is a sultry bombshell, but she's so strange looking in her beauty, and her willingness to perform multiple sex acts in one singular film seemed to be what Noe intended for the main actress, so she's perfect. The plot and themes are so poignantly told throughout the story of these broken souls, and encompasses many questions human beings infer from life. All the actors are so real and so wrought from incredibly sad life circumstances and poor life choices. The film delivers story, imagery, and psychedelics without having taken (hard) drugs, and shows the downward spiral of these fractured lives from the first person of a spirit. Is it caught in a loop of terror throughout all eternity? Are the choices we make in life set in stone forever, or do we get a second chance? I was convinced that this is how life is lived, and relived. It seems totally tangible and potentially true.

See Enter the Void. Be patient with it, it's very long, and at times, incredibly difficult to watch. Some of the scenes seem masturbatory in their depictions of uncut and disturbing imagery, but this is Noe. This is his world/life view. He's experimented with crazy drugs all around the world, and can reproduce these images flawlessly. His team of film makers are gifted, and skewed at the same time. This film  is cracked, its nuts, its beautiful, terrifying, and most of the world, particularly Americans, aren't ready for it yet.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Rough Days

This business is rough, and some days I just beat myself up about it. Didn't go to a university program prestigious enough, with enough clout to bring me into the world of acting with flourish and know-how. I'm not as physically fit as I should be, compared to other actors. I'm just not good enough of an actor in general, I don't have the inhibitions, the depth of feel, the intriguing chops to make it.

Envy is a bitch, the hardest part of this business and my own inner turmoil to overcome. Why should I care what other actors are accomplishing? It's really not because I want to steal that one particular role. Nine times out of ten I wouldn't even really be right for it. Where the feeling stems from is a place of just, 'why doesn't anyone feel they want to work with me?' Then I remember, its because I don't put myself out there. Enough. At all. Ever. I never audition. Sounds sort of rudimentary, no? Well, stop bitching then, no one wants you because no one knows who the hell you are. But its not that easy. I don't audition because I don't have enough money because I don't want to take a restaurant job. I do commercial production. Freelance. It takes up 16 hours of my day when I'm working, and when I'm not working its because there's no work in New York. Everyone's filming in L.A., so work is sporadic. At least it's work within the correct realm, but it's the other side of the camera, and it doesn't come around often. Plus you can't audition because they're sporadic too. Its a gamble pitting work against a possible audition any day of the week, because you'll have to say no to either opportunity, or paying the bills.

There's a delicate balance of a job that sustains living, while keeping days open to audition. Then once your days are open, you actually have to GO AND AUDITION. But whats the point in going to EPA's when you're not a dancer? They don't give a crap about you unless you're represented. Truth. Sorry, prove me otherwise please. I constantly question that if this was so important to me, to become an actor, why am I not waiting tables nights, so that I can find time to take a class and audition during the day? Trust me, I get headaches thinking about it day in and day out. Unemployment is good, if you can get it, and get it in full. My rent is at an all time low. You'd hit me for even writing this article if you knew how much I paid, because there is again, little to no excuse for me feeling like a failure. But honestly, feelings and mental health are subjective.

I'm an high strung, crazy, angry young man. Its built into my DNA. I work hard, lose my money, don't make or save enough, and end up miserable in my room because I cant go out with my friends, so I neglect them when I should be cherishing them. I try to boost myself up, try to remain positive. I go on long runs to exhaust my brain from thinking about a million things at once, how to get work, make money, make money acting, getting an agent, getting paid on the side...thinking outside this stupid fucking box. Focus isn't the easiest when there's nothing to focus on. I wake up tired, and go to sleep even more tired. I have projects, things on my plate, maybe too many things, but I take pride in all of them, and need to see them all through, which is difficult because half of me think I could be working instead of putting energy into something that isn't making me money. Not everyone can be Mark Zuckerberg.

This business is tough, and it's not going to win, but I also feel at a loss, and I haven't even really tried. I don't have the energy to try harder at this point. Yoga? Jesus. Running is all I can manage. My unrest has taken a hold of my soul, and happiness is fleeting. But I persevere.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Back in Business!

Hey all,

It's 2011 and there's a lot going on. In September 2010, I had some minor surgery on my lower back, and took it easy through the holidays. I'm now back on my feet, fully recovered, and am ready to make moves. I've been writing a weekly column for thecallboard.com as well as writing on my own, trying to get ideas and experiences down on the page.

As for acting, that's happening. Slowly. But it's out there, beyond the cabin fever and incredulous snowfall of New York city. Pilot season is in full swing, theatre isn't really in the best form, but it's bouncing back, along with the economy and the benefactors hit by it, so we'll see what the spring can bring. Rhymes! I love a good rhyme. That's why I've been digging into the old music library, and seeing live shows again. Anyone heard of Broken Social Scene? Saw them 3 times this past winter already. Incendiary. Download them, buy their albums, they're just beautiful musicians.

Getting inspired has been the toughest, especially when you're bed ridden and bored. So for the rest of the cold weather season, go see movies! Go get cheap seats to a show...a decent show hopefully, but any live event will do. I want to take this blog and gear it towards a positive outlook and confident foray into the business of show for all to read.

Let's make some moves this year everyone. It's feeling up for me, and that hasn't happened in a while. Onward and upward we go!

~Yours
Alex